Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
meet me or not, i'm out of control
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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