It's like God shit irony all over that family
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
