So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
