Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
