I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
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