I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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