I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize