I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
