I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
