Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
well you can't waste a boner
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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