I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
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