Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
