I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
