the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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