why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
