He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
