You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
