you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize