He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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