Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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