remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
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