You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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