The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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