Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
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