Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
