I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
