I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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