I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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