Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
