I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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