I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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