holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
