I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
