I just cut my nipple shaving
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
