i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
