Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
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