Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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