I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
