somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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