some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
