dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I look better un-naked...
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
