I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
