Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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