Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
3 2 1 whiskey
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
