I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
