Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
