Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
