They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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