we have pet lesbian snakes
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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