You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
bring money and cleavage
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
