Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
So drunk its hurt
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
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