This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
