just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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