u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
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