I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize