They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
