i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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