Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
