my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
