waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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