I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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