The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
