My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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